2007-08-24

A Woman's Place Response  

If any of you are regular readers of my blog, then you probably have read my Where is a Woman's Place post and know how I feel about it. I received a comment from anonymous shown below. My response is below the comment.

I get so sick of women who stay at home trying to justify their existence by touring that the world would be a better place if all women followed in their footsteps. What a bunch of garbage. Let me paint a picture of them good ol' days when women actually did stay at home. I'll even give you a true story about my own grandmother.

She was a pastors daughter and married my grandfather whom she met in college. My great grandfather only paid for her to go to college for one year because he felt it was a significant enough amount of time for her to land a husband - and she did. My grandfather cheated on her from the onset of their marriage and she had no escape from it as she had 4 children and no job skills other than those a maid would have. She was miserable the rest of her life until she died. My great aunt was in a similar situation. She wanted to be a Pediatrician - loved children - but my uncle didn't want her any place but under his control. It was a relief to her when he died after 20 or so years of marriage.

I am a mother of 2 fantastic kids. I work fulltime and make a great living and so does my husband. In fact, I don't have to work. But I do because I enjoy the financial freedom, the work itself, making worthwhile contributions to society and for the security knowing that if god forbid something ever happened to my husband, I wouldn't be whoring myself trying to scratch out a living to support my children.

I find it amusing that people (men especially) are trying to push so hard the "beauty" of motherhood and that rah rah rah and how important it is to stay at home with kids. Well, if it's so very honorable and important, they can get off their butt and stay home with their own kids and give up their careers, hopes, dreams, ambitions and otherwise lives. They can trade it all in for raising children.

I somehow think it's better for BOTH parents to be equal custodians of the children they created together and demonstrate how important it is to be able to take care on oneself by both parents holding down jobs. And no, my kids aren't in daycare (which there is nothing wrong with). I work days and my husband works nights so we both participate in the raising of our children.

Men get an automatic station of priveledge in life. They get to make a way for themselves, realize their hopes and dreams, have a wife and kids with minimal personal and career sacrifice. Women get the drudgery. I for one will not sit by quietly and accept my "position" in life. I made something of myself. And my children are going to be better for it.

Lilith

Dear Lilith,

There are ALWAYS options. Your grandmother didn't have to stay with her husband. That was HER choice. Maybe if being a maid was her only other option, the she should have chose that instead of living miserably with a cheater until the end.
Your aunt had the same choices in life as well. Here's MY example: My mom was beaten for years and finally made the CHOICE to leave. She worked at several jobs, we lived from place to place, and she dropped out of high school early on so had little education. She sure didn't have the luxury to attend college for any length of time, BUT despite all this, she made a life for herself and her children and lives happily today.

I'm glad you don't have to work, neither do I. I CHOOSE to stay home. And if something happens to my husband, we will be OK because we took all the necessary financial precautions.

I never said that both parents shouldn't have equal responsibility in raising the children-I just think we were given the ability to birth a child so that makes us women the natural nurturer. I don't think men (in general) can raise kids like a woman can.

Yes, I do agree that men ARE privileged in life. We can sit back and watch or we can make a name for ourselves. Just because I don't work doesn't mean I didn't' make something of myself by the way. In my friends, family, husband, and kids eyes I am someone special who they know they can depend for anything! And that means more to me than what a boss or co-workers think of me.

What next?

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3 Neighs & Snorts: to “ A Woman's Place Response

  • Cmanlong
    August 24, 2007 at 3:28 PM  

    The original article was great and your response to the comment was great. You have a very good perspective.

  • Cmanlong
    August 24, 2007 at 3:30 PM  

    YOUR LINK TO B MONEY SAVVY IN THE SIDEBAR has an error. There is an extra apostrophe in the address so it is broken.

  • Lori
    August 24, 2007 at 3:43 PM  

    Thank Cman! And thanks for the heads up on my link. Did you notice my label cloud;)???